Monday, November 12, 2012

All we do is Win Win Win

Don't worry, the Razor is still retired.  Like Jordan, I'm just coming back for one more Championship.

What Championship you ask?  It's November, so that means I've conquered another Peanut Festival.

Longtime Slicers will no doubt remember my bottle lifting Championship last year, and if not, you can read the recap here: One Angry Bird

In preparation for this years Peanut Festival, I dusted off the ole bottle, broke out the fishing pole, and regained Championship form. Here's a pic:


Opening night Christena and I headed out to the Fairgrounds, she in search of corndogs, me looking to torture some carnys.  To my dismay, they no longer offer the bottle lifting event.  Perhaps, they wisely chose to avoid another nasty scene, and took it out of the Dothan, Alabama rotation.  Whatever the reason, I was disgusted and as we left, I muttered something about never coming back to the Peanut Festival.

Luckily, when I got home, I had time to simmer down, reevaluate things, and devise a new plan to conquer the fair, win extra large stuffed animals, and heap large portions of glory upon myself. 

"Christena" I said, "I am going to build a Reverse Steering Crazy Bike."  Without missing a beat, she responds, "I can't believe you are going to waste that much time building, and then learning to ride, a bicycle that steers backwards."  And then I said, "Christena, what event in our 6+ years together leads you to believe that I'm not going to build, and then learn to ride, a Reverse Steering Bike?"  I couldn't make out the words she mumbled as she sauntered away, but I imagine it was some combination of encouragement and thankfulness that she was fortunate enough to marry a guy like me.

Long story short, my friend Brad Tucker (who deserves credit for not judging me) tracked down the gears, my brother-in-law Stevie (read about him here) donated a bike, and a welder (who asked to remain un-named, for fear of being associated with such nonsense) pieced it all together.  Within 72 hours I had a Reverse Steering Bike.  Now to learn to ride it...



Stevie and I agreed to be training partners, which involved sharing tips, discussing strategy, and picking each other up off my driveway.  He came over Thursday night and we started working.  Progress was slow at first but by Friday night we'd developed a little bit of consistency.  He was better than I was, but with a little luck, we just might pull it off.  One word of caution, Stevie was still in backwards steering mode when he left my house Thursday night.  My sister and their children were terrified when he zigged when he should have zagged, and nearly drove their car into a ditch.

We met up at the Fair on Saturday night, fueled up on funnel cakes, and then set out for the midway.  The Crazy Bike, if you aren't familiar, is a more of a spectator sport than any other event they offer.  Hundreds of people gather around and watch an endless line of losers pay $10 for the privilege of bouncing off the pavement three times.  We decided that I would go 1st, since I was our weakest link, and if I failed, I could at least tell Steve how our bike was different from the regulation bike, and give him some last minute advice before his attempt.

Here's the footage:



We've got a Winner!  Another Carnival game defeated!  Another extra-large trophy!

Stevie is up next:  (Sorry this video is sideways, my blogging skills are rusty)



The Dynamic Duo does it again!  When I watch these videos with an unbiased eye, it seems obvious to me that my ride was better than Steve's and my victory celebration was more enthusiastic.  I'll have to work with him on that before the Fair next year.

We let his daughters pick the prizes:

 
 
Even bigger than last year!  The carnys could have got off cheap, just letting me win another Angry Bird at the bottle lift, but they made the mistake of rousing a sleeping giant.  In spite of the fact that I have a bruised tailbone, an open wound on my ankle, a deep bruise on my thigh, and lower back pain, the joke is clearly on them.
 
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Those of you who have befriended Christena on Facebook, might think the Awards Ceremony picture above looks familiar.  Alas, you are probably confusing it with the Awards Ceremony picture from the 2012 Taylor Made Festival Washer Chunkin' Contest.  While similar in size, you can see the trophies are slightly different:
 
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So that's pretty much everything you missed while the Razor was retired.  Oh yeah, I got married too.
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