Leap Year Loop Hole

Friends,

Was I the only one caught completely off-guard by one of the customs of Leap Day? Of course, I was aware that they added an extra day to the month of February every 4 years to keep the calendar in sync with Earths' position relative to the Sun. What I didn't realize, is that the 29th of February is the one day when ladies are permitted to propose marriage. The Ladies Privilege, as I've since learned, dates back centuries and gives a lady a once-every-four-years opportunity to ambush an unsuspecting bachelor with promises of matrimonial bliss.

So I was just strolling around yesterday, enjoying the extra day in February, when out of nowhere, BAM! My lady hits me with the proposal!

Let me rephrase, because that's not entirely true.

Due to the prolonged courtship period that she and I have endured (this is actually the 2nd time we've celebrated Leap Day together), she's learned that I'm too wily to fall for a direct attack. Rather, she led me down a slippery slope, and before I realized exactly what had happened, we were engaged!

I'm a big believer that forewarned is forearmed, so in that spirit, I would like to educate other bachelors so this doesn't happen to you. Here are some of the "advanced techniques" she employed against me:

1. She didn't attempt to propose on the 1st Leap Year of our relationship.

If your lady-friend is exceedingly patient, she may very well opt to skip her 1st opportunity, correctly deciding that you wouldn't view the 2nd Leap Year as a risky situation, and have your guard down.

2. She didn't come right out and say, "Will you marry me?".

Any bachelor with my years of experience would've seen that coming from a mile away. Nope, she tricked me with the ole, "Well, my lease runs out on 3/31/2012, how long do you think I should renew for?"

3. She was more than prepared for all of my standard responses.

I'd gotten lazy and uncreative, and she took the opportunity to really stick it to me. When I trotted out my standard response ("6 month lease should be about right") that had positioned her into so many 6 month leases previously, she skillfully deflected it and stuck to her guns. Still not sensing the danger or her level of preparation, I jumped straight to standard response #2, "Well, you wouldn't want to move out to my place and have Taylor (her son) change schools." This objection was overcome before the final words were even out of my mouth.

4. Sensing that she had me on the run, and it was time to go for the kill, she calmly said, "It looks like you need to start ring-shopping."

Check-Mate

WARNING TO SINGLE-LADIES, THE NEXT TECHNIQUE I'M GOING TO REVEAL IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS, ONLY THE MOST DESPERATE OF FEMALES SHOULD EVEN CONSIDER EMPLOYING IT.

5. She attempted to get evicted from her house, leaving no alternative but to move into mine.

The day before Leap Day, as we were returning from dinner, she drove her Chevy Tahoe into the side of her house, causing significant damage to both. Unfortunately for her, the plan failed, as her auto-insurance company is going to pay for the damages and her property-manager is exceedingly lenient.

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To reward her for her dedication, and to stop this madness before someone gets hurt or killed, I am going to spend the rest of my life with her. Do not feel sorry for me, she is beautiful, pleasant, and a joy to be around. If any sympathy is due, send it in her direction. As H.L. Mencken (one of my literary heroes) said, "Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it good and hard."