Rep. Weiner, GovChild, DWTWS, &c.

It seems I've completely missed my opportunity with the Wiener Twitter fiasco. Perhaps it's for the best, as the best joke I came up with involved the inappropriate use of a former President's name, and wasn't particularly family friendly. While on the family friendly theme, parents who have been cautiously monitoring their kid's E-Activity were disappointed to learn that they must now not only monitor communications with sexual predator's, but also with politicians.


In an effort to make parents' lives easier, I've done some of the leg work you you:

• @RepWeiner - As you already know, not safe.



• @RepJohnson - Breaking the trend of suggestive last names, this one is safe, for now.



• @SenBarbaraBoxer - Safe, unless you are a fetus, in which case it's open season.



• @BarneyFrank - Surprisingly, this one was safe until he began re-tweeting photos from @RepWeiner.
  

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Quick note on Arnold Schwartzenegger's illegitimate son. I have high hopes for this kid. The offspring of a Governor and a maid, perhaps genetically predisposed to cleaning up our fiscal situation. (Boy, was that cumbersome.)

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Dancing with the Wiregrass Stars

My ladyfriend (and un-renowned Blogger) Christena, invited me to attend our local charity-supportive version of the hit TV show, Dancing with the Stars, which will be held this Saturday night. Various personalities from the Wiregrass are joining together to hold a Dance-Off to raise money for those less fortunate. You might be surprised to learn that my answer to her invitation was an emphatic "YES!".

In fairness, I must confess to having an ulterior motive for attending this farce. I have a crush on one of the participants. Perhaps it's the uniform, but Sgt. Rachel David of the Dothan Police Department has caused me to spend many hours contemplating which crime I could commit that would result in her investigating me thoroughly, without risking the possibility of jail time, and maybe even leaving me the right to choose to not vote in the next election. Being an outside-the-box thinker, I've also considered being the victim of a crime, but have not yet settled on a complaint that wouldn't make me look like a doofus.

In case you were wondering, she looks like this:

$%@#&!!!!!

One of my Editors just wandered into my office and informed me that Rachel David, who is pictured above and is participating in the DWTWS, is not the police officer that I've been wanting to be handcuffed by. Rather, there are at least 2 attractive Dothan police officers. I've seen the other lady, a detective whose name I do not know, featured in the local newspaper a couple times and developed a bit of a crush on her. Sadly, when I saw "attractive police officer dancing" I jumped to the wrong conclusion.

Oh well. I've already gone to the trouble of writing the post, so I might as well publish it. Further, I had to consult an architect when constructing one of the above sentences. It contains 50+ words, multiple supportive clauses, and a reasonable amount of humor. The first couple times I tried to write it, it collapsed under its own weight. Finally getting that beast tamed, and this post completed, I had high hopes when I submitted it for publication. The news that I was the victim of a case of mistaken identity was a shock to the soul. In my weakened state, I fear the pain of deleting that sentence would be more than I could bear...

Finally, Ms. David does seem to be attractive. So while she wouldn't be my first choice in a responding officer, she'd be high up the list.

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I had a couple more things to cover, but now I've got to spend some time figuring out how to get out of attending this dancing thing...