Many people are involved in making the Razor possible, either by assisting with technical aspects of the site, helping me work on material, or giving me an easy target to lampoon. Some people are featured on the Razor fairly often. Here are their stories:
Christena Brown - Dothan's Luckiest Woman and my "ladyfriend". Born in Georgia, and raised in Dale County, Alabama, Christena has made a remarkable adjustment to life in the "city". She enjoys driving on paved roads, bathing frequently, and spending time with me. In spite of the fact that we have only been dating for 4 years, people often ask "When are you two getting married?". The answer is quite simple. It's up to her. I've proposed to her many times, and so far, she has exhibited the good judgement to say "NO!" The ball is clearly in her court, and there is nothing more that I can do. In her defense, she has only ever been exposed to "Dale County-Style" weddings, which usually involve a shotgun, so perhaps her apprehension is to be expected.
Cindy and John Thomas - My Parents. Together they form a team that is very gifted genetically (1 out of 2 ain't bad). Cindy travels the country as one of America's premier speakers on "Early Childhood Education". John is what we in the satire business call a "target rich environment". His hunger for the latest electronic gadget is contained only by the amount of space available on his belt. John and Cindy want it be clear that they are not to be blamed for the way I turned out.
Stevie Davis - my brother-in-law and life long friend. Provides fodder for math jokes and helps with various other aspects of the Razor. Together we won 3 Gold Medals in the 1994 Scholars Bowl at Troy State University. Sadly, this was the peak for Steve. In adulthood, he remains passionate about Levi's 505 jeans. He prefers them with a classic wash and color, but his job as a careless chemist often give his pants an "acid-washed" appearance.
Krystal Davis - My sister. While not featured in many Razor articles, she can be seen leaving rude comments on virtually everything I post. Visually, she appeared very briefly in a video embedded on the Razor (
here). Not so brief was her auditory impact on said video, as she can be heard screaming manically for the entire length of the video.
David Sconyers - My good friend and harshest critic. He was a (semi) productive member of society for 30 years before being sent out to pasture last year. With all of the free time that retirement provides, he is able to focus on gardening (pictured at left), making music videos (
here), and slaying all forms of wildlife. When he's not growing vegetables or shooting supper, I use him to help me work on material. When I first concieve an idea, I try to run it past Dave for feedback. I know I've written a really good joke if Dave likes it. So far, despite my best efforts, he's only liked two of my jokes. Curmudgeon.
Cindy Sheffield - Christena's sister and my Spell Checker in Chief. Despite the fact that we dated briefly many years ago, we remain friends (especially when she needs something) today. When I first met her, she was the world record holder for "Most Consecutive Sentences Ended With a Preposition". As of today, she has mastered the differences between their, there, and they're as well as your and you're. It is not uncommon for her to call me after reading some insanely funny material on the Razor only to say, "You used "your" when you should've used "you're". I'll respond, "Yeah, but was the post funny?" Cindy, "I guess".
BTW, what is it with these Dale County Girls and their Glamour Shots? When I asked everyone to submit a picture for a feature on the Razor, their was no way to predict that the sisters would both opt for "leaning against a wall". Must be hereditary.
Christena Brown - Dothan's Luckiest Woman and my "ladyfriend". Born in Georgia, and raised in Dale County, Alabama, Christena has made a remarkable adjustment to life in the "city". She enjoys driving on paved roads, bathing frequently, and spending time with me. In spite of the fact that we have only been dating for 4 years, people often ask "When are you two getting married?". The answer is quite simple. It's up to her. I've proposed to her many times, and so far, she has exhibited the good judgement to say "NO!" The ball is clearly in her court, and there is nothing more that I can do. In her defense, she has only ever been exposed to "Dale County-Style" weddings, which usually involve a shotgun, so perhaps her apprehension is to be expected.
