Unlucky subscriber, Hitler, &c.

UPDATE: I had to host this video on dailymotion cause youtube kept deleting it. Should work now, but daily motion runs some ads. S0 while watching the video, you might have to collapse the ads to read the subtitles. Sorry for the inconvenience.

As you can see, I've added a twitter feed to the side bar of the blog. I'll try to remember to tweet when I post something new. So you can follow me if you want to.

Speaking of following, if you have a Blogger account, you can subscribe to blogs you like. When new content is added to a blog you follow, your homepage will update and you can check it out. If you don't have a blogger account, you just have to continually refresh the Razor till I add something good.

Anyway, I used to have 2 subscribers to this blog. Now I only have one.

Not sure what caused the person to unfollow me, but it probably had something to do with those crappy mosque posts...

(as an aside, I got a call from a Slicer in Louisiana. He described the mosque material as "timely and poignant". So at least one person liked them).

Emotionally, I think I'll be able to take the blow as I have fairly thick skin and I've learned that in the Internet society, people "friend and unfriend" as often as they change their socks. Plus most of my traffic comes from outside the Blogger network.

Luckily, you don't have to have a Blogger account to be a fan of the Razor!

So what is my unfollower going to miss? For starters, this video:

hitlerrazor
Uploaded by adamsrazor. -

About this "hiatus"? There will be no such thing. This was bad intel on the part of the SS, so Hitler's rant was for naught. As for the rest of the week, I've got an Obama/Putin thing in the pipeline but my main focus is on College Football's opening weekend. I might try to work up a little SEC humor.

While on the topic of sports, I think I watched every game in the Little League World Series. Japan won, ending America's 5 year reign. I made one political observation. The LLWS has always referred to Taiwan as "Chinese Taipei", which is the subject of some controversy. Without going into too much detail, Taiwan considers itself an independent and freedom loving country. China considers it a territory of China. The use of "Chinese Taipei" is offensive to me because it helps legitimize the Commies' claim to the island of Taiwan. Along these same lines, freedom lovers are encouraged to call Burma, Burma, and not Myanmar (which is the name that ruling Military Junta wants us to use).

Anyways, I always hold my nose while hearing the announcers use "Chinese Taipei", but am willing to give them a pass. After all it's baseball played by 11 and 12 year olds, not a seat at the UN. So imagine my surprise when I saw that the LLWS used the Pre-Chavez Venezuelan Flag! I checked and re-checked and they used the 7 star version that I wrote about earlier this week.

Kinda strange that they're willing to risk offending Chavez and not the Chinese. Kinda makes me think the flag was an oversight...

Who is John Galt?

It's Friday and I feel like blogging...

Hugo Chavez is a communist thug who was elected President of Venezuela. Once in power he changed the constitution so he could rule forever. If this sounds familiar, it should. It has happened all over Latin America. While in power he has done typical dictatorial things. i.e. nationalizing private industry, cracking down on dissidents, and even changing the national flag.

Not everyone likes the new flag, which gives me the opportunity to post a photo of an attractive lady. Don't see the connection?

Here's the justification.

Quick, what’s the murder capital of the world: Kabul? Juarez? Try Caracas, Venezuela, a city whose dictator, Hugo Chavez, has made murder a means of extending his control.

The silent protest at Monday night’s Miss Universe Pageant in Las Vegas was invisible to nearly everyone — except Venezuelans. On her final catwalk, the ranking Miss Universe, Stefania Fernandez, suddenly whipped out a Venezuelan flag in a patriotic but protocol-breaking gesture.

Fernandez waved her flag for the same reason Americans waved theirs after 9/11 — to convey resolution amid distress. Her flag had seven stars, significant because Chavez had arbitrarily added an eighth, making any use of a difficult-to-find seven-star banner an act of defiance.
Fernandez’s countrymen went wild with joy on bulletin boards and Facebook, showing just how worried they are about their country. Their greatest fear is violent crime.

So Ms. Fernandez waved the old flag to protest Chavez. Now that's my kind of beauty. And the photo I promised? Here:

That is a smoking hot anti-communist! I wonder if the act of exchanging wedding bands with Ms. Fernandez would encourage her to rethink her anti-communist ways and entice her to cede total control of her productive facilities? Just the thought encourages and entices me to head to the jewelry store...

Razor e-mails

Time to once again empty out the Razor e-mail inbox.

In response to my Mosque posts, I received this gem from Barry H.:

Adam, I need an outlet for my new product and since you have adam's razor, you might be interested. I am now manufacturing landmines which look like prayer rugs. I have named it "Xpress lane 2-72". Do you think you might be interested.

When it hits the Internet sales are going to just explode.

Regards, Barry H.


How delightful.


And then I received an email with a link to this story from the Grumpy Old Geezer*:


George Michael pleaded guilty yesterday to driving while on drugs (Here). The text of his e-mail?


Very rich ore here....you should mine it for the Razor. Interesting parallels and juxtapositions.


His point? I assume he is referring to the fact that George Michael and I drive the exact same vehicle, Range Rover. I am unable to draw any other parallels between me and George Michael, as I do not hang out in the men's bathroom at gas stations or use drugs.


* Who is the Grumpy Old Geezer? This is the online pen name that David Sconyers uses when he occasionally guest writes columns here.


David has been like a Father Figure to me. I have Faith that this email comparing me to George Michael was a Careless Whisper. Wham!

(The previous 2 sentences were my (perhaps failed) attempt at George Michael humor. George Michael fans, if there are any, will get the jokes. All others are warned: if you click the links you will hear his music.)

Before I get to the next e-mail, some backstory. My training in Linguistics was through an audio set that I bought (you can find it here). The course was taught by John McWhorter, you can see his appearance on the Colbert Report here. To get his feedback, I e-mailed him a link to the piece I did on Ebonics earlier this week. Surprisingly, he not only read the post, he e-mailed me back. His comments:

In parsing that ordinary, passing Black English utterance the way you did, you definitely precisely understood what I was getting across. That's a handy two sentences, in fact.
I have a piece at The Root today on this DEA issue, as a matter of fact. But you won't learn much from it!
Best,
John

If that isn't a resounding endorsement, I don't know what it is! It has been one of my goals to parse a passing Black English utterance for quite some time. The piece that John mentions on the DEA issue, is here. If, after reading my article and John's article, you still have a thirst for more linguistics, you should buy his course linked above. It's really, really good.

One final e-mail before I run out of time. A Slicer who wishes to remain anonymous sent me this link.

5 Great Cities For Retirees and Dothan was mentioned.

PROS: Proximity to parks and golf courses; two-hour drive from the Florida Gulf Coast, four hours from the Atlantic Coast
CONS: No regularly scheduled public transit, high tornado risk, limited cultural offerings

And the anonymous Slicer's comment?

"Limited cultural offerings" ??? That's a disadvantage??? Who wants a bunch of tree huggin', wine sippin', cheese eatin', elites clogging up our streets with electric cars???

It's articles like this that gives us a bad name.

Touche

I took more issue with the "Pros". You should move to Dothan, it's near a bunch of stuff...

See you tomorrow, but don’t hold me to that. Like our congressmen, I reserve the right to revise and extend, or subtract, my remarks . . .

Oil Spill Data

I found this information very interesting. It's the kind of data and hard facts that are hard to find. Unfortunately, I am unable to link it, so I've reproduced it for you here. Please remember that I didn't write this so when you see words like "me, we, and I" the author is referring to himself and not to your favorite blogger. I did provide this photo:

From Unmitigated Disaster to Merely Disaster

First, let's begin with the "good" news. The ecological destruction that was first feared is not going to be as bad as once thought, for a variety of reasons. It is not good, but it is not the unmitigated disaster it could have been.
Edward Overton, PhD, Professor Emeritus, Dept. of Environmental Sciences, LSU, is an expert on oil spills. He was at the Exxon Valdez. The Exxon Valdez (EV) was a big, black, thick tide of oil. The Deepwater Horizon is a much bigger spill: every ten days the amount of the EV spill spewed into the Gulf, from April 20 to July 15. Professor Overton spoke mostly for the record. He is very much a concerned environmentalist, and he is also a very serious scientist.
He reminded us that the Louisiana wetlands are a very important part of the ecological system of the Gulf of Mexico. Oversimplifying, they are the nutrient source for the small animal world which feeds the larger. Without the wetlands much of the Gulf ecosystem dies. If they were destroyed, they would not come back very easily, as without their very root system the land would erode away. Bluntly, oil kills wetlands if it gets into it.
There are only three ways to get rid of an oil spill. You can mechanically remove it, chemically remove it, or burn it. They used all three methods. But not fast enough. The Obama administration dithered while Rome burned. (This is not from Overton.)

"Three days after the accident, the Dutch government offered advanced skimming equipment capable of sucking up oiled water, separating out most of the oil, and returning the cleaner water to the Gulf. But citing discharge regulations that demand that 99.9985 percent of the returned water be oil-free, the EPA initially turned down the offer. A month into the crisis, the EPA backed off those regulations, and the Dutch equipment was airlifted to the Gulf."
Really? For 0.0015 percent clean water from badly contaminated, toxic water? It takes a month to get that decision? I can guarantee you that there were people arguing for such a decision early on, and some rookie environmentalist at the EPA who never had responsibility in the real world made things a lot worse. Moving on:
"A giant Taiwanese oil skimming ship, The A Whale, is only now working on the spill. It can process 500,000 barrels of oily seawater per day, but it also needed the same waiver from the EPA which, expressed in another way, limits discharged water to trace amounts of less than 15 parts-per-million of oil residue. It also needed a waiver from the Jones Act, which prevents the use of specialized foreign ships from the North Sea oil fields because they use non-American crews. Previously, the skimmers had to return to port to offload almost pure seawater each time they filled up with water."

Ok, Let's get this straight. The oil industry screwed up by not having enough disaster equipment and ships available. That's bad beyond words. But for the government to compound that by not allowing needed ships to do the work, just because they did not have US union workers is just as bad. You expect better from government in a disaster, or we should.
(Overton said we never really did learn whether The A Whale would have been as useful as advertised, as it did not get into the Gulf soon enough.)
What should have been a no-brainer decision to use the Dutch ships was delayed for whatever reason. What should have been a no-brainer decision to waive the water purity rules was delayed beyond reason. My personal opinion. Whoever participated in that decision should be allowed to return to the private sector. They only made the problem of the spill worse. They should not be allowed near the decision-making process again.
Please note, this is no defense of British Petroleum. As noted below, they were extremely negligent, and deserve the costs and more. We just don't need to compound stupid, incompetent, irresponsible (choose several more adjectives, some with color) corporate acts with dumb government ones.

The Corexit Decision

There is a chemical called Corexit that is a product line of solvents primarily used as dispersants for breaking up oil slicks. It is produced by Nalco Holding Company. Corexit was the most-used dispersant in the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, with COREXIT 9527 having been replaced by COREXIT 9500 after the former was deemed too toxic. Oil that would normally rise to the surface of the water is broken up by the dispersant into small globules that can then remain suspended in the water.
In hindsight, Overton thinks the use of Corexit was the correct thing to do. It probably saved the wetlands. But it is not without its own bad effects.
When you put Corexit on an oil slick, the surface oil disperses but also drops into the ocean about 15 feet. While Corexit (basically a type of soap) itself is not toxic (an admittedly controversial claim), the resulting dispersed oil is quite toxic. Fish swimming through it can be and are harmed. Marine mammals like porpoises are seriously harmed when they rise to breathe through an oil slick.
But here is the good news. It turns out that there are about the equivalent of two Exxon Valdezes a year from natural oil seepage from the floor of the oceans. The Gulf has an ecosystem of bacteria that eat that oil, which are then eaten again by plankton. To those bacteria, dispersed oil is filet mignon. They thrive and grow rapidly, turning that toxic waste into nutrients, which are absorbed by the plankton. The bacteria keep on growing until they lose their source of nutrition (the toxic oil) and then die out over time. Note: once absorbed by the bacteria, the oil is no longer toxic. There are no toxic minerals like mercury introduced into the ecosystem.
Scientists are somewhat baffled. There are tens of millions of gallons of oil that seem to be missing. It seems that the Gulf is providing its own (albeit chemically assisted) defense mechanism. Overton thinks that within less than five years, and maybe only a few years, the ecosystem will largely be back. And fishing may even be better, since the fish and shrimp are not currently being harvested (he called it human predation). At least for a while.
We traded onshore damage for offshore damage. But the calculation is that much of the ocean is empty of fish. Every go deep sea fishing? Did they just jump into the boat? Did you fish all day and catch little or nothing? There are large parts of the ocean and Gulf with very few fish. It is not good to create those toxic pools of oil, even if they eventually go away. Some fish will be harmed. But better than on the marshes.
For that we should all be grateful. It was a very difficult choice to make to use the dispersants. But it was the right choice. Somewhat like the choices we have to make in our current economic environment, concerning deficits and stimulus. There are no good or easy choices in these crucial situations. It was tragic that the choice had to be made, but I am glad it was. Losing the Louisiana wetlands would have been an ecological disaster of biblical proportions.
Again, we should never have had to make that choice. Better that BP management had observed the warning signals.
Some More Takeaways
It was clear talking from experienced oil professionals that the blowout was human error, and probably compounded human error, ignoring multiple warning signs and safety procedures. We went to Shell's Robert Training Center, where they train people to work on oil rigs. It is a very rigorous facility and the people running it are very professional. They take safety seriously. They train most of the oil rig workers in the Gulf, including British Petroleum's. They showed us the simulated control rooms. There are lots of safety features and redundancy; and it is *my* take that complacency had set in at BP, as things had gone just fine for so many years, and then some corners were cut. Over time, this will all come out.
There are two types of Corexit. The newer version is considered less toxic. But for whatever reason (ahem), they used supplies of the older version first. As it turns out, they needed just about everything they had, using over 1 million gallons. But it would seem that someone made an economic decision to empty the shelves of a less desirable dispersant.
Before we start to drill again (and we must!), we need to build two very large containment devices (to provide for redundancy). The process of building them from scratch this time was too time consuming and was trial and error.
There is a coalition of large oil companies building a response system at a cost of over a billion dollars. A little late for this disaster, but good for the future. There need to be enough booms to gather oil, skimming vessels, and other equipment at the ready, just as we assume there will be fire trucks if we need them. And that should not be at taxpayer expense, of course.



Ok, I'm back. Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. BP screwed up, the government screwed up, but they did a lot of things right and as of now, it looks like it won't be as bad as it could've been. Also, it would appear that we learned enough from this disaster that next time won't be nearly as bad...

C'est la vie, Ebonics, &c.

Longtime Slicers may have noticed that from time to time I end a paragraph or a blog post with some random phrase, often in a foreign language. My personal favorite is linked here. (As an aside, my brother-in-law Stevie not only translated the linked phrase, but also figured out why I used it. I was proud of him.)

I stole this concept from one of my favorite writers and use it to add character to the blog as well as to pay homage to him. I consider myself a semi-professional linguist, a point I will try to make later in this post. Nevertheless, many of the foreign phrases I've used were just poor word substitution. For example, when I did the story on the Serbian dude whose house kept getting hit by meteorites, I ended the paragraph with the phrase "what a country". I'm quite sure that the actual words I used don't convey the meaning I intended, but I don't speak Serb...

Or French.

Several years ago I read a paragraph that was beautiful in its composition as well as in its content. The writer showed a mastery not only of his subject matter, but also of the English language. Every word was perfectly selected and used for maximum force. It was an amazing thing to behold. The last sentence of the paragraph? C'est la vie...

I immediately put my big brain to work deciphering this oddity. I read and re-read this wonderful paragraph looking for context clues as to what this French phrase might mean. I finally came to the conclusion that it meant "The more things change" with the three periods (...) leaving the reader to fill in "the more they stay the same". Such a phrase, used in this manner, would have been the perfect ending to the perfect paragraph.

So for the past 4 or 5 years I've been roaming the Earth thinking I had a French phrase in my arsenal and probably even fired it off a few times at some unsuspecting listener. Imagine my surprise a few weeks ago when I learned that "C'est la vie" actually means "Such is life". In hindsight, I should have known better than to try to translate a foreign phrase using context alone. More importantly, I certainly should have verified this little piece of knowledge before I tried it out in conversation. Oh well, C'est la vie...

I mention this today because I recently ran across a couple pictures that when viewed side by side are pretty funny. As I thought about how to present them on the Razor, I thought it would be nice to say "The more things change" in French. However I no longer "know" how to say that in French.

So enjoy these photos in English:

Adam Thomas, on a cruise to the Bahamas, circa 1995:

Adam Thomas, on a cruise to the Bahamas, 2009

I'm sure that Slicers will immediately notice the similarities of the two photos. Same shirt, same pants, same tie, same hair cut, &c. Over the course of the past 15 years, I've graduated from college, toured the globe, read the classics, seen amazing works of art, eaten the eggs of endangered fish, and have experience amazing personal growth in terms of fashion sense. Except for the last part. C'est la vie... (which unfortunately does not mean, The more things change...)

And finally, my credentials as a semi professional linguist? I'll use this article as a reference point. In it we learn that the Justice Department is looking to hire experts in the non-standard English dialect Ebonics to assist with their narcotics investigations. In the mid to late 1990's there was a debate about whether Black English (also known as African American Vernacular or Ebonics) was a distinct dialect or just people using bad English intermixed with slang. A quote from the article, "Detractors reject the notion that Ebonics is a dialect, instead considering it a bastardization of the English language."

Allow me to retort. On my flight to Baltimore 2 weeks ago, my mother and I had an interesting exchange with a black couple. I mentioned to my mom that we had seen Elijah Wood (the actor who played Frodo in the Lord of the Rings) when we went to Malaysia and now we had seen Biz Markie on a flight to Baltimore.

A lady near us overheard me and said, "I'ma travel wit chall. Y'all be going places." This is a near perfect example to explain a distinct difference between textbook English and Ebonics and I hope to use it to convince you that it is a true dialect. Clearly the first sentence is full of slang, but there is something happening in that 2nd sentence which is neat.

To me, a dialect must have rules that all speakers know and use. Whether the speaker learns the rules in a classroom or in the living room is not important. The rules that define a language are called grammar. Whether to put the adjective before or after a noun, how to denote gender, &c. There are thousands of factors and languages around the world use all sorts of wild and wacky rules. These distinctions make it extremely difficult to learn a new language. It's not just a matter of word replacement.

So does Ebonics have a grammar? Something going on behind the scenes that adds meaning beyond what the words literally say?

Yes. Let's look at her second sentence: "Y'all be going places." The word "be" clearly stands out as something a standard English speaker wouldn't use. So what does it mean? It is a "habitual marker", meaning that the subject does something a lot. She didn't mean, "You two are currently going somewhere." She observed that my mother and I have traveled a lot this year and then said, "You two travel habitually.", "Y'all be going places."

Notice that standard English does not have a "habitual marker". In standard English if you want to say someone does something a lot, you have to use more words than just "be".

So should the Justice Department be hiring Ebonics speakers? I don't know and don't care. Should schools teach Ebonics or teach other subjects using Ebonics? Not in my opinion, but if they find that some students learn math, history, &c. better when it is taught in the dialect they learned at home, I'm OK with it.

After reading this, what do you think? Is Ebonics a dialect? I think yes. There are many more examples of its grammar that go beyond the scope of this post. Sure, it's mutually intelligible with standard English. Anyone who speaks English can have a perfectly understandable conversation with someone speaking Ebonics. But Ebonics has a separate grammar, rules that it's speakers must follow. Which makes it something more than slang and something less than its own language, A Dialect.

Adam Thomas
Fashonista and Semi-Pro Linguist

A quick one

UPDATE: In spite of the fact that this post was entitled "A quick one", I did not intend to publish it quite so quickly. My original plan was to work on it a little more, finish it and then publish it. Oh well. I did add one quick comment, but I'm leaving it basically unfinished...




I notice that Roger Clemmens is being indicted for lieing to Congress. He testified that he didn't use steroids...

One of the things he is charged with, "Obstruction of Congress".

Is that even illegal? It sounds like the kind of thing where we should have a ceremony and award a medal.

So if you lie to Congress, it's a crime. If Congress lies to you, no problem.

On the surface, it seems like a staunch "small government" guy like me would be against Congressional investigations of Major League Baseball. On the contrary! I salute these types of Congressional time wastery and file them under the same category as Obama's vacations. The more time they spend with this nonsense (or on vacation)the better...

Enjoy your weekend.

Webisode

In spite of the fact that I've been bogged down with this mosque nonsense the past few days, Razor Fever is continuing to sweep across the globe. Today I was interviewed by XNN news. An online news channel. I was a tad surprised at the direction this interview went. Either way, I enjoyed doing it and I appreciate the exposure. I hope you enjoy it:

Final Mosque Post

A dedicated reader (thanks!) sent me a video. In it, an eloquent Englishman details the dangers and offensiveness of having a mosque built near Ground Zero. It is available to you here:



While probably too lengthy for most of my ADD followers, I watched it in its entirety, and agree with vast chunks of it.

One thing that is not clear to me is what exactly makes the mosque offensive? Is it the location that is offensive or its very (proposed)existence?

If it is the very existence, then it seems America has become less tolerant than I thought. One of our greatest attributes is (used to be?) liberty. If it's the location, I reiterate my point that when private property changes hands, I wish the government was about as far from the transaction as possible.

Which brings me back to my original point. I'm not necessarily pro-Islam, pro-mosque, etc. I just find it highly disturbing when pseudo-conservative people call on our government to step in and meddle in what should be a private/local affair (you're still my boy Newt).

The highlight of the above video for me was the final 30 seconds. The speaker says something along the lines of, "Public opinion can stop this mosque from being built."

I'm cool with that. If public opinion, the free market, or any such non-governmental factor can stop this thing from being built, fine. My issue is this: when something goes wrong in the United States the people have been conditioned to look to the government to fix it. Or if we don't like something, we turn to our government to stop it. IN AMERICA!

Some examples?

In 2005, a category 4 hurricane hit a US city that was located below sea level. The citizens relied on their government to save them. What event in the glorious 225+ year history of our nation leads you to believe that the GOVERNMENT was gonna be capable? Is it any surprise that it was botched?

This year an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico exploded and leaked millions of gallons of crude oil into our seas. Our first reaction? How is the GOVERNMENT gonna fix this? Answer: It can't and won't.

What has made out nation great has never been the government. What makes our nation great is our PEOPLE. Unfortunately, our people have been conditioned more and more to rely upon the government for tasks that it is clearly not capable of.

Most of the time in the past, we conservatives can say, "Well that's the Democrats, they think the government should do everything."

Not this time. It's us right wingers begging for government action and it's sickening.

If you, as an individual, don't want any Muslims or mosques in the United States, cool. If you, as an individual, want the government to control who can build what and where, OK. Just don't call yourself a conservative.

There will be no more posts dedicated to the Ground Zero Mosque on the Razor. It's already been discussed too much. There are an infinity of places you can go to gather more information. If these goofy writings of the past few days leave you with the impression that I'm supportive of this or any other mosque, it's due to my ineloquence. Rather, I was trying to make a point about the American mindset.

Update from yesterday

This is exactly what I'm talking about. You can't tell the conservatives from the liberals, the Democrats from the Republicans. More Government Intervention is the mantra of all.

Here's Nancy Pelosi:

"There is no question there is a concerted effort to make this a political issue by some. And I join those who have called for looking into how is this opposition to the mosque being funded," she said. "How is this being ginned up that here we are talking about Treasure Island, something we've been working on for decades, something of great interest to our community as we go forward to an election about the future of our country and two of the first three questions are about a zoning issue in New York City." (emphasis mine)

So 68% of the country wants the government to step in and stop the construction of a mosque, and the mosque supporters want the government to investigate the mosque opposition.

Kinda hard to tell much of a difference.

In related news, I learned here that the budget for this mosque is $100 Million dollars. $100 million? What kind of a crappy mosque is this supposed to be. In Brunei I went to a mosque where the bathroom alone cost over $100 million . I know they've got this recession on but do you expect any self-respecting Muslim to show up 6 times per day to pray at $100 million dump. I realize that most Americans only go to church a few times per year and we can get by with a facility that only cost $5-10 Million (as long as it has a gym...), but we ain't talking about most Americans. Think you can build this 24 carat gold mama for $100 million?

Not a chance.

(mostly) Satire free post

Over the past couple months I've attempted to use humor and satire to make a point about the state of our Union and/or it's leaders/citizenry. I did a piece on Obama and his race card here. And attempted to ridicule the anti-Mexican sentiment here. For more examples (and hilarity) you can re-read the entire Razor catalog. I'll link no more.

Today there will be no satire. Today I'm coming straight at you. I'm sick and tired of hearing these RINO's railing away about the Federal Government infringing on their freedom and liberty one minute and advocating that the Fed's infringe on someone else's the next. All the while never seeming to notice the irony...

You want an example? Good

A recent CNN poll found that 68 percent of Americans do not want a mosque built close to Ground Zero. Look man, this is America. Someone offers a piece of property for sale. Perhaps someone comes along and buys it. If the buyer happens to be Muslim and wants to build a mosque, deal with it. While I can't document it, I'd be willing to bet 68% of Americans have never ever seen a mosque.

Then we get hours and hours of supposedly conservative people begging the Government to step in and stop it. Why? Too close to Ground Zero. I understand that this is a sensitive place. But guess what? Ground Zero is in the United States of America.


Obama says, “As a citizen, and as president, I believe that Muslims have the same right to practice their religion as everyone else in this country. That includes the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in lower Manhattan in accordance with local laws and ordinances.”


Exactly. Just because the President is ruining health care, the federal budget, &c., doesn't mean he can't be right every now and then.


Don't want to live in a country that allows mosques? Fire up the DeLorean and move to 1930's Germany.



Is this building so hideous as to be offensive?

Prefer lower Manhattan at night? Would this be so bad?

As you are walking into your church this Sunday (or next Easter), look at the facility. Kinda boring right? Say what you will about the tenants of Islam, but their facilities are architectural works of art.

And when does this Governmental oversight stop? Your health care? The price of tea? Seat belts? I could go on, but you take my point.

To those arguing that we must respect the 3,000+ Americans who died on 9/11/01 in the World Trade Center, I agree. We honor their memories, we mourn their loss, they were innocent victims in the timeless battle of freedom vs. tyranny. Let's remember and honor our dead by staying free. Let's not beg for our Government to become more tyrannical or oversee more than it already does. Just as we honor the Pilgrims and the amazingly dangerous voyage they braved. And the Jews at Auschwitz (while not our countrymen, members of the human race).

Before you start with this moral equivalency crap, I appreciate the difference between zoning laws and gas chambers.

Vote however you must. Support whichever position floats your boat. More government, less government, whatever. Make your choice. But remember that you can't have it both ways.

To my friends at FoxNews, National Review, &c., thanks for all the good work you do. We need someone to push back against the liberal media, liberal agenda, &c. But must you mindlessly walk the Republic Party Line? At times it seems that the Repubs don't even think through their positions. If Obama's for it, they're against it. Which probably works 80%+ of the time. However, we as commentators and citizens don't have to follow this procedure.

Here is a video featuring a dude that knew how to use his brain. He understood smaller government and the Bill of Rights. Should be required viewing:

Last week I read that some municipalities are using Google Earth to look for illegal swimming pools. In America. One zoning board's radical Muslim is another zoning board's... (sorry, this analogy is so cumbersome that even I can't complete it).

As I prepare to publish this post I notice that there might be hints of sarcasm/satire. Sorry.

Big Weekends for Stevie and Christena

My brother-in-law Steve and I have been trying to defeat this rope for the past 6 months. Various people we know have been holding their kids' birthday parties at the local gymnastics place, and while the kids break each others bones, we've been trying to ring the bell at the top of the rope.

I missed it by a couple inches a few months ago and fortunately have not had to go back.

When Stevie realized I was going to be out of town this past weekend, he decided to hold his daughters' party at the Gym and get a shot at the rope without my competition.

Sensing that I would not believe him if he didn't have video evidence, Stevie made the poor decision of having his climb filmed. Here it is:

Stevie claims to weigh 210 pounds. Which is probably true if he is weighing himself while standing on Venus. On Earth, he blew through 210 several years ago.

Would you like to know how much I would weigh on other planets? There is a neat calculator here.

In other weekend news, it rained quite a bit while I was in Panama City. As a result, we spent a couple hours in an interactive museum called Wonder Works.

Perhaps you have seen a toy like this before:

From the manufacturers website, here are some of its features:

• Pin Point Impression Toy
  



• Create beautiful sculptures in seconds
  



• Turn everyday objects into objects d'Arte
  



• Design free-form art by setting image captor on the side and pushing pins forward to create your own shapes
  


• Toy for child above 3 years old (this is the feature that I want you to focus on)

At Wonder Works they have one of these toys that is the size of the human body. In spite of the fact that this venue is a "family establishment" and the toy is supposed to be safe for anyone over the age of 3, my girlfriend decided that she would become a "performance artist". Here is a photo:

What unfolded next was like a scene from a movie. Enraged mothers/wives were dragging their kids/husbands into other sections of the museum with such fervor that two kids suffered dislocated joints. One unfortunately curious husband got slapped across the face, those children not within arms reach of their parents burst into tears, and the curator of the museum informed us that while it was indeed an exhibit, exhibitionism was strictly prohibited.

I'm not sure if Christena has been banned from the whole chain of Wonder Works museums or just the Panama City location.

Over the lifetime of the Razor there have been several times when I have been hesitant to post something for fear of the repercussions. Most of the time I plow ahead, a few times I've exercised discretion. As I prepare to publish this post, I have a bad feeling about this one.

New Template, Videos, &c.

As you can see, the Razor now has a new look. This was not intentional. As you probably know, I was having trouble embedding videos. While trying to clear this up, I determined I had an HTML problem (don't you hate when that happens?). Since I don't know anything about HTML, I decided to change my template with hopes that the issue would resolve itself. I'm not thrilled with the new look of the Razor, but clearly I've always focused on substance over style...

Now that I'm able to embed videos in their entirety, I intend to take advantage of it. Here are the two funniest videos I've seen in a very long time. If you live in communist N. Korea or work at Polyengineering, I would strongly urge you to consider heading to an Internet connection that allows you to watch YouTube.

The first video doesn't get good until about half way through, the 2nd video is perfection from the beginning.



The Autotune Remix:


Incidentally, when Misty Boaz found out "they raping errbody out here", she wanted to change our weekend trip from Panama City to Huntsville. That is desperation!!

Got time for one more item before you head out for your weekend? If not, hold down the "ALT button" on your keyboard and then hit the "F4 Button". If yes, proceed.

While catching up on the local news, I read this article. At our local commission meetings citizens are allowed a few minutes to air their concerns to the commissioners. Mr. Jeff Kelly decided to attend the meeting and express his dissatisfaction with the number of immigrants we have in Dothan.

There has been an ongoing debate in our nation for decades concerning our immigration policy. It seems to me that all sides have valid points. The two main concerns that most hardliners usually have are 1) Mexicans steal our jobs and/or 2) Mexicans take advantage of our Welfare programs. I think that both of these complaints probably have some validity and need to be addressed. However, Mr. Kelly complaint was novel to me. Specifically, he said, "I go to Wal-Mart and sometimes I feel like I am in Little Tijuana."

Is it that offensive to see Mexicans in Wal-Mart? If our leaders only knew that Mexicans were ruining Mr. Kellys' Wal-Mart experience, I'm sure they'd have secured the border years ago. Maybe we should have a Mexican-only retail chain. Or make them sit at the back of the bus.

Dios Mio

Back from Hiatus, Misty Boaz, Biz Markie, &c.

I know it has been a while since I posted. Various things, both professional and personal, have dulled the Razor over the past couple weeks. I've had a ton of material which I hope to get published over the next few days. So I would encourage you to visit the Razor the same way we vote in Alabama, "early and often".

Those Slicers who are fortunate enough to know me outside of this blog are probably aware that I had to make a last minute trip to Pennsylvania for the worst possible reason, a funeral. Despite the somber occasion, it was wonderful to see my mom's side of the family. No matter the circumstances, I enjoyed spending time with my aunts, uncles, cousins, &c.

I was also pleased to learn that the Pennsylvania wing of my clan are all ardent Razor followers. The first thing that my Uncle Larry said to me was how much he enjoyed my site, and that I must be genius to come up with this stuff. Clearly age (he turns 70 this week) has lowered his standards. His daughter Angie, who is an actual genius, remarked that she finds the Razor "entertaining". I perceived that she said this somewhat dismissively, but as the Razor is for entertainment purposes I'll accept her comment as an endorsement. I also took encouragement from my Uncle Clair who thoroughly enjoyed the South Carolina Chronicles.

The only negative feedback I got was from my Uncle Dave. Dave is probably the funniest guy I know and his criticism sent me reeling for a bit. Luckily his sister later informed me that Dave likes to have a monopoly on hilarity and he doesn't like competition from the Razor. He need not be concerned, I bow to him. Maybe I can get him to type up a story or two for the Razor. I've never had a guest columnist before, but anyone who has been pulled over for speeding while dressed in full clown regalia, is welcome here.

Tons more material to cover, but I've gotta wind down for today. How about a birthday?

As I travel around and meet Razor fans, one of the more frequent questions I recieve is, "who was the girl wearing the Razor Shirt?" The story I relayed in this post, was that I met a "random girl" who was wearing one of the shirts I sell here. For your convenience, I've reproduced the photo here:

In reality, she was not a random girl, but a young lady that has been trying desperately to get my attention for quite sometime. So who exactly is this young lady that is willing to go to such extravagant lengths to gain my good favor? Misty Boaz.

Misty turns 30 this weekend and to celebrate it, a group of us are going to the beach. To prepare for this trip, Misty has been running and exercising 4 times per day. In fact, this morning she sent me a picture of her scale, presumably while she is standing on it. Only a sense of propriety keeps me from posting that picture on this blog. Needless to say, it seems her physical condition is peaking just in time for the beach trip.

Alas, her efforts will be for naught. I have a strict "don't date anyone over 29" policy*, and she has missed the cutoff by one day.

Less discerning Slicers are welcome to contact her directly about a potential romantic liason. She can be reached at E-Harmony, match.com, facebook, myspace, and late at night at the bus station.

Here is one of the less-revealing photos she sent me this morning.

Finally, Generation X Slicers might remember the late 80's - early 90's rapper Biz Markie. If you have been wondering what he's been up to for the past 20 years, I can tell you. Eating.

I sat next to him on a plane this week and he is enormous. For those not familiar with his illustrious career, I offer this:

Biz Markie - Just A Friend
Uploaded by rikma. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

One of the greatest one hit wonders of our time. As I go to publish this, it occurs to me that I have still not figured out why videos that I embed on this site are being clipped. For the past couple weeks whenever I include a video, it only shows the left 3/4. If you must see Mr. Markie in full, the unclipped video can be found here.

Until next time...

* Hairsplitting Slicers may question why I've decided to enforce the "don't date anyone over 29" policy" with Misty when Christena is clearly well over 30. Easy, Christena was grandfathered in as I began dating her when she was 28 or so.