Razor e-mails

Time to once again empty out the Razor e-mail inbox.

In response to my Mosque posts, I received this gem from Barry H.:

Adam, I need an outlet for my new product and since you have adam's razor, you might be interested. I am now manufacturing landmines which look like prayer rugs. I have named it "Xpress lane 2-72". Do you think you might be interested.

When it hits the Internet sales are going to just explode.

Regards, Barry H.


How delightful.


And then I received an email with a link to this story from the Grumpy Old Geezer*:


George Michael pleaded guilty yesterday to driving while on drugs (Here). The text of his e-mail?


Very rich ore here....you should mine it for the Razor. Interesting parallels and juxtapositions.


His point? I assume he is referring to the fact that George Michael and I drive the exact same vehicle, Range Rover. I am unable to draw any other parallels between me and George Michael, as I do not hang out in the men's bathroom at gas stations or use drugs.


* Who is the Grumpy Old Geezer? This is the online pen name that David Sconyers uses when he occasionally guest writes columns here.


David has been like a Father Figure to me. I have Faith that this email comparing me to George Michael was a Careless Whisper. Wham!

(The previous 2 sentences were my (perhaps failed) attempt at George Michael humor. George Michael fans, if there are any, will get the jokes. All others are warned: if you click the links you will hear his music.)

Before I get to the next e-mail, some backstory. My training in Linguistics was through an audio set that I bought (you can find it here). The course was taught by John McWhorter, you can see his appearance on the Colbert Report here. To get his feedback, I e-mailed him a link to the piece I did on Ebonics earlier this week. Surprisingly, he not only read the post, he e-mailed me back. His comments:

In parsing that ordinary, passing Black English utterance the way you did, you definitely precisely understood what I was getting across. That's a handy two sentences, in fact.
I have a piece at The Root today on this DEA issue, as a matter of fact. But you won't learn much from it!
Best,
John

If that isn't a resounding endorsement, I don't know what it is! It has been one of my goals to parse a passing Black English utterance for quite some time. The piece that John mentions on the DEA issue, is here. If, after reading my article and John's article, you still have a thirst for more linguistics, you should buy his course linked above. It's really, really good.

One final e-mail before I run out of time. A Slicer who wishes to remain anonymous sent me this link.

5 Great Cities For Retirees and Dothan was mentioned.

PROS: Proximity to parks and golf courses; two-hour drive from the Florida Gulf Coast, four hours from the Atlantic Coast
CONS: No regularly scheduled public transit, high tornado risk, limited cultural offerings

And the anonymous Slicer's comment?

"Limited cultural offerings" ??? That's a disadvantage??? Who wants a bunch of tree huggin', wine sippin', cheese eatin', elites clogging up our streets with electric cars???

It's articles like this that gives us a bad name.

Touche

I took more issue with the "Pros". You should move to Dothan, it's near a bunch of stuff...

See you tomorrow, but don’t hold me to that. Like our congressmen, I reserve the right to revise and extend, or subtract, my remarks . . .