You will no doubt be delighted to learn that I did not die. It was a near thing for a few days, but adhering to a strict vitamin C and Alka Seltzer regimen, I'm now back close to 100%. What was the mystery ailment? I self-diagnosed "flu", but I talked to a physician-friend on the phone last night and he informed me that it was the wrong time of year for that. He guessed "mono" (the kissing disease). I don't have enough minutes left on this months' cellphone plan to track down all the people who may've exposed me, so I don't really know who to blame, but here are some of the things they caused you to miss:
I. A witty column about Mother Nature's attempt to wipe that festering political cesspool of a city, Washington DC, off the map, with not one 1, but 2, natural disasters.
All of the jokes I wrote will be archived and saved for future use...
II. Putin vs. Obama Photos, Vol III
I've had some fun in the past comparing photos of Obama with photos of Russian President Vladimir Putin. Last week a similar opportunity presented itself, and I missed it. Rather than dig back through old headlines, I'll give you this, which I've had in the queue for quite a while now:
III. Parody Videogame Training Videos
Perhaps you're familiar with the genre. There are millions of hours of footage, all available on Youtube, of a kid narrating while he teaches you how to play a video game. Wanna learn how to kill 50 zombies with a machete on BO? No problem. Wanna learn how to play poker like the pros? No problem. Seeing an opportunity for some hilarity, I made a couple spoof videogame training vids. Keep in mind that I'm playing a character here, a 15 year old named Fizzy. Enjoy:
---
I'm sure most of you would've just preferred that I stay sick, rather than expose you to this nonsense...
Cya
No comments:
Post a Comment