Averages, Gov't payoffs, &c.

It's becoming painfully clear that 2011 is going to see the Razor lose its status as the "World's Greatest Blog" and will most likely be relegated to somewhere in the middle of the pack. The concept of being "average" is not new to me. I'm average height, average weight, average athlete, &c. However for those of you not as comfortable with this concept, I've done you a favor and compiled some data for you to consider:

• The average phone number is 555-555-5555
• The average person has 1 fallopian tube.
• Sarah Palin's children average 46.2 chromosomes.

Those Slicers doubting the accuracy of the above facts are invited to look them up. I trust that you will find they are all true and you can then take comfort in the fact that just because the Razor is transitioning to a reduced level of output, it will still be educational (and offensive).

One last statistic and I'll move on. While researching the above, I also learned that 1 out of 4 kids with the initials A.D.D. actually has ADD. It occured to me that 4 out of 4 kids with the initials A.D. H-D. have an annoying, self-righteous mother who wouldn't just shut up and take her husbands last name...

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I don't want to bore you with geopolitics but check this out. In a futile attempt to ward off a Tunisian-style civil revolt, many nations in the middle-east are trying to buy-off their populace. (Sadly, the previous sentence set a new Razor record for hyphenated words.) Here's what I'm talking about:

• In Kuwait, Emir Sheikh Sabah al-Ahmad al-Sabah decreed that every Kuwaiti citizen receive a one-time payment of KD 1,000 (roughly $3,558), plus free food rations for 13 months beginning in February. Officially, the gifts are being made in coordination with the fifth anniversary of al-Sabah’s rule.
• In Syria, state media reported a government plan worth $250 million to help 420,000 impoverished families. Cash loans will be distributed to Syrian citizens who qualify for the aid beginning in February.
• In Sudan (the northern, Arab region*), the governor of Khartoum state announced measures designed to soften the blow of recent price hikes on commodities such as cooking oil and sugar. Free school meals and health insurance cards will be distributed to 30,000 students and their families.

In America, we've got a new season of American Idol to look forward to. As such, a more direct form of appeasement is probably not needed at this time.

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See ya (not so?) soon.

*No e-mails please. I know that Sudan is in Africa and not the middle-east proper.