Kinda hard to write a humorous blog when the biggest news stories in the world are revolutions in the Middle-East and Japan sinking into the sea. The problem is compounded by the fact that the Razor is monitored by The Islamic Republic of Iran and every blogger in the country has already pointed out that the footage from Japan looks like a replay of Godzilla vs. Mothra...
Amongst the outpouring of hate mail and nasty messages I got regarding my hiatus, I was surprised how many of you were upset that I didn't write anything for Pi day, March 14th. Just for you, I'll unveil a previously unknown talent. From memory I'll recite Pi as far as I can go: 3.14159265358979. Again, that is from memory, you are invited to look it up to check for accuracy. Hope you all enjoyed calculating the circumference of circles in my absence.
As an aside, it's a sad state of affairs when the Razor has become more known for mathematics than hilarity or sex scandals...
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Speaking of sex scandals did you read this article about Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi? "Berlusconi: I'm too old for so much sex". Me either, but I'm going to assume that something was lost in translation from Italiano. I don't know much about Berlusconi but I've heard you can get fired from your job for Googling his name. Every time I've seen something written about him, it has involved debauchery...
Ok, I went ahead and read the article. It seems he is accused by Italian prosecutors of sleeping with 33 women in a 2 month period. Not knowing Italian law, I have no idea what the legal limit is. I would've guessed, in a romantic country like Italy, a little higher.
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Onto the revolutions.
As I wrote before, Tunisia was a trend setter with their successful Jasmine Revolution in Jan/Feb. Followed closely by Egypt who ousted Mubarek shortly thereafter. Not wanting to miss the fun, we have current activity in Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Libya, Syria, Jordan, Algeria, Yemen and Iran (are there more?). The level of success varies from place to place, but the common theme is "throw the bums out".
I am a bit concerned that due primarily to the ineptitude of the United States State Department, any new governments might not be particularly "America Friendly", but that is a matter for another time and another blog post. Right now, my biggest concern is individual liberty, and as such, I want to do my part to encourage freedom, so I am willing to grant asylum at the Thomas' estate to two particular coup targets.
First we have the Queen of Jordan, Ms. Rania Al Abdullah. Pictured here:
Ms. Abdullah, If you, like the populace of Jordan, are growing tired of your husbands dictatorial ways, I invite you to come live with me. While not a member of the Hashemite Royal Family, I am an indirect descendant of Gen. Braxton Bragg, Confederate hero from America's Civil War. Further, I am willing to negotiate my position on Women's Rights and the Zionist occupation of Palestine. Which I know are important issues for you. So let me know...To the people of Jordan, you are welcome. I know you want to get that hag out of your country and it is with your liberty in mind that I extend this offer.
In addition to freedom loving people of Jordan, I wish to show my support for the revolution in Syria. The bloodthirsty dictator there is Bashar al-Assad. It is my hope that in the aftermath of the Syrian revolt Mr. al-Assad ends up dangling from the end of a rope. His wife, Asma al-Assad, on the other hand, if she wishes, can live the remainder of her life in exile in Alabama. Here is a photograph of Ms. al-Assad and her favorite purse:
As yet, I have not been able to look up pictures of the other ruling-women of revolution filled Middle-Eastern countries. However, if the appearance of these two is any indication, I'll extend a standing invitation for any displaced queens, first ladies, &c. to take up residence at my place.
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Sadly, that is all I have time for today.
See ya soon.
2 comments:
really? a blog? c mon sparky.
You think anyone would want to listen to me say this crap? So I type it out...
Stop Googling my name.
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