A Book, A Streaker, &c.

I'm writing this post with one metaphorical arm tied behind my back. I'm tackling it as a mental exercise. At the very end of the post I'll share what will make it so difficult.


Over the weekend President Obama attended a campaign rally in Pennsylvania. Just as his speech was ending, someone threw a book at him. Photos:

And a close up:

As I go to press, it is unclear what the book was or who threw it. I'm sure the Secret Service is working around the clock to answer these questions. In an effort to help them with their investigation, I offer a few thoughts*.

• We can be pretty sure that it's not a copy of the Constitution, or Obama would have trampled on it.


• It was probably not thrown by a Member of Congress as nothing comes out of Congress at less than 1000 pages Further, the book doesn't appear to be pornography.


• It wasn't thrown by Cam Newton. He would've seen the Secret Service were playing Cover 2 and ran with the book.


• It wasn't thrown by Stephen Garcia, he would surely have hit the President.


• The book didn't belong to Sarah Palin. Not enough pictures.

In related news, this dude won $1,000,000 for streaking the same campaign event: From this article: Billionaire shipping tycoon Alki David offered to pay the sum to the first person who ran nude in front of Mr Obama with the word “BATTLECAM” - the name of his website - across his chest.

And the winner is? Juan James Rodriguez - Whenever I see a Latino in handcuffs, I assume he was detained for harvesting produce without a Green Card. In this case, it looks like the only "produce" involved was Senor Rodriguez own "twig and berries"... It's also possible that his middle name (James) indicates he is not an illegal immigrant.

I'd always thought that when I finally wrote a blogpost containing the words streaking, website, and chest, it would be less disgusting. Oh well.

*Creative Slicers are encouraged to use the comments section of this post to add to or improve upon my list of book jokes.

And the self-imposed handicap? Writing a funny post about the book episode without using any variation of the phrase "throw the book at him". I met at least one of those goals...