Back from Hiatus, Misty Boaz, Biz Markie, &c.

I know it has been a while since I posted. Various things, both professional and personal, have dulled the Razor over the past couple weeks. I've had a ton of material which I hope to get published over the next few days. So I would encourage you to visit the Razor the same way we vote in Alabama, "early and often".

Those Slicers who are fortunate enough to know me outside of this blog are probably aware that I had to make a last minute trip to Pennsylvania for the worst possible reason, a funeral. Despite the somber occasion, it was wonderful to see my mom's side of the family. No matter the circumstances, I enjoyed spending time with my aunts, uncles, cousins, &c.

I was also pleased to learn that the Pennsylvania wing of my clan are all ardent Razor followers. The first thing that my Uncle Larry said to me was how much he enjoyed my site, and that I must be genius to come up with this stuff. Clearly age (he turns 70 this week) has lowered his standards. His daughter Angie, who is an actual genius, remarked that she finds the Razor "entertaining". I perceived that she said this somewhat dismissively, but as the Razor is for entertainment purposes I'll accept her comment as an endorsement. I also took encouragement from my Uncle Clair who thoroughly enjoyed the South Carolina Chronicles.

The only negative feedback I got was from my Uncle Dave. Dave is probably the funniest guy I know and his criticism sent me reeling for a bit. Luckily his sister later informed me that Dave likes to have a monopoly on hilarity and he doesn't like competition from the Razor. He need not be concerned, I bow to him. Maybe I can get him to type up a story or two for the Razor. I've never had a guest columnist before, but anyone who has been pulled over for speeding while dressed in full clown regalia, is welcome here.

Tons more material to cover, but I've gotta wind down for today. How about a birthday?

As I travel around and meet Razor fans, one of the more frequent questions I recieve is, "who was the girl wearing the Razor Shirt?" The story I relayed in this post, was that I met a "random girl" who was wearing one of the shirts I sell here. For your convenience, I've reproduced the photo here:

In reality, she was not a random girl, but a young lady that has been trying desperately to get my attention for quite sometime. So who exactly is this young lady that is willing to go to such extravagant lengths to gain my good favor? Misty Boaz.

Misty turns 30 this weekend and to celebrate it, a group of us are going to the beach. To prepare for this trip, Misty has been running and exercising 4 times per day. In fact, this morning she sent me a picture of her scale, presumably while she is standing on it. Only a sense of propriety keeps me from posting that picture on this blog. Needless to say, it seems her physical condition is peaking just in time for the beach trip.

Alas, her efforts will be for naught. I have a strict "don't date anyone over 29" policy*, and she has missed the cutoff by one day.

Less discerning Slicers are welcome to contact her directly about a potential romantic liason. She can be reached at E-Harmony, match.com, facebook, myspace, and late at night at the bus station.

Here is one of the less-revealing photos she sent me this morning.

Finally, Generation X Slicers might remember the late 80's - early 90's rapper Biz Markie. If you have been wondering what he's been up to for the past 20 years, I can tell you. Eating.

I sat next to him on a plane this week and he is enormous. For those not familiar with his illustrious career, I offer this:

Biz Markie - Just A Friend
Uploaded by rikma. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

One of the greatest one hit wonders of our time. As I go to publish this, it occurs to me that I have still not figured out why videos that I embed on this site are being clipped. For the past couple weeks whenever I include a video, it only shows the left 3/4. If you must see Mr. Markie in full, the unclipped video can be found here.

Until next time...

* Hairsplitting Slicers may question why I've decided to enforce the "don't date anyone over 29" policy" with Misty when Christena is clearly well over 30. Easy, Christena was grandfathered in as I began dating her when she was 28 or so.