-- Adam's Razor Platinum ® --

Readers,

Due to the massive amounts of hilarity I've produced on this website recently, I've noticed a real spike in web traffic. (The good folks over at blogspot have noticed too. Boy, I'd like to be there server salesman.) As a result, I feel like my site has lost some of its personal touch. For me personally, it's been really difficult to see my baby grow up so fast. It seems like just last month I was only getting 2-3 page views per day. I'm starting to see that this website has been the primary victim of my success.

In an effort to combat the "mainstreaming" of my blog, I'm excited to announce the creation of my new super exclusive blog "Adam's Razor Platinum®". "Adam's Razor Platinum®" is the high-end luxury version of The Razor, aimed at discerning rich personages who are deserving of a more personal experience with the blog writer. Subscribers to "Adam's Razor Platinum®" will continue to have access to the Original Adam's Razor, but also be entitled to access "Adam's Razor Platinum®" where they will be treated to additional content befitting those with a higher station in life.

How do you know if you qualify for "Adam's Razor Platinum®"? I hate to use a cliche, but if you have to ask, you probably don't qualify. However, for your convenience, I've compiled a list of guidelines to help you determine your status.

I. If you are reading this blog from work and your name is not on the building, continue enjoying the Original Adam's Razor.
II. If you are reading this blog at your beach home, and this is your only vacation residence option, you're getting close, but not quite there yet.
III. If you only get necessary surgery, I appreciate your support however, it might be better for you to go here.


On the other hand, if you:

I. Enjoying smearing the eggs of exotic and endangered fish on your breakfast toast, you are to be saluted, and welcome to "Adam's Razor Platinum®!"
II. Spend more money for a set of tires than you pay in monthly salary for your toiletseat-warming butler, proceed to "Adam's Razor Platinum®". Also, you might be interested in this . I just had them installed at my house, and while it hurt to fire Jeeves, he was but one more victim in the technological revolution.

To all of my readers, whether you are rich, poor, or in between (kinda poor), I hope you will continue to visit the version of Adam's Razor that best suits your needs. You can be sure that I will continue to update the Original Adam's Razor as often as something hilarious pops into my head and I am within arms reach of a computer.

THE FOLLOWING CONTENT IS FOR PLATINUM MEMBERS ONLY, IF YOU ARE NOT A PLATINUM MEMBER, PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE READING.

Dear Platinum Members,

I look forward to building a more exclusive and intimate blogger-reader relationship. Until next time, please remember: money cannot buy happiness, but it can buy things that will make us happy.