The Borneo Files, Version 4.0

I just wanted to give everyone a heads-up that I’m not coming home. I’ve been impacted so much by the people and culture of Borneo, that I’ve decided to stay. America’s culture has finally been exposed to me for what it really is. It produces mouth-breathing morons in backwards baseball caps and pants that fall down; Slurpee-sucking geeks who seldom see daylight; pretentious and earnest hipsters who want you to wear bamboo socks so the world won’t end; women who have lizard tattoos winding from the navel to the nape of the neck; beer-drinking dufuses who pay to watch noisy cars driving around in a circle for 8 hours at a stretch; and an entire race of females, now entering middle age, that speaks in North American Chipmunk and seldom makes a statement without, like, a question mark at the end?

Psych. I’ll be home next week. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve finally adjusted to the time zone and can resume my overwhelmingly verbose sarcastic bombast. And No, I didn't mean the things I said in the previous paragraph, just wanted to remind you of what The Razor is capable of.

Headed to the islands off the coast of Borneo today. Should be a short boat ride followed by lots of swimming and diving. I'll have pictures and video for you later. In the meantime, here is a slide show of yesterdays activities.