The Borneo Files - Mohammed's Revenge

WARNING: DUE TO THE GRAPHIC NATURE OF THE CONTENT OF THIS POST, YOU ARE ENCOURAGED NOT TO READ IT. THOSE OFFENDED HAVE BEEN FOREWARNED.

On Sunday, while hanging out with a member of the Bijou tribe, I was introduced to a a root that is a cure for whatever ails you. As I chewed the root, the tribesmen informed me that I would be immune to the effects of poison and sickness. After chewing the root for a minute my entire mouth, including tongue, was completely numb. I assumed that was how you knew the magic had taken effect.

After I told my companions about my good fortune they were all excited to know that I couldn't not get sick or be poisoned. They ask me if I knew how long the effects of the root would last. I assumed that since the shamen hadn't told me, that it would last for the remainder of my life.

It was actually only effective for two days.

Tuesday morning I met a Sea Gypsy in the fish market. She was carrying a child who was lame. She asked me for a ringit (about 30 cents US). I said "Tidak", which means no. In hindsight, I wish I knew the Malay word for yes. I've unfortuneately answered the age old question of who has strong magical powers a Bijou Shamen or a Sea Gypsy widow.

Tuesday afternoon I was reminded of why I usually travel with Immodium and a 9/16 socket wrench (14MM when traveling internationally). The immodium to fix my plumbing and the socket set to fix the hotel's. (I've had many a violent bout where my bowels weren't the only thing that was loosened.)

In a situation like that there are usually only two things to do: 1. Find the Shamen and get another dose of root, or 2. find the Sea Gypsy and buy a bottle of her tears.

Luckily, I met a western school teacher named Roberta who gave me two Immodium pills and all of the toilet paper from her room. I am pleased to report that 24 hours later I am not only re-hydrated but just enjoyed a nice day hiking and diving at a nearby island (photo's posted later tonight).