Friday, July 30, 2010

Ex-fan Mail

Slicers, my inbox runneth over with your complaints regarding the poor quality of yesterdays Razor post. According to (we assume former) razorphan23@*****.com "re-posting stupid news stories from around the world is dumb" and "not even a little funny". We'll see about that.

On July 15th, 2010 the Gulf of Mexico Oil spill was finally contained. You can read about it here.


Eleven days later, on July 26th, we started getting reports that the spilled oil was nowhere to be found. Read this article for details. A few quotes from said article:

To our dismay, the following day, July 27th, we got our answer. The oil had resurfaced in Michigan. Read about it here. A quote from the article: "A state of emergency has been declared in southwest Michigan's Kalamazoo County as more than 800,000 gallons of oil released into a creek began making its way downstream in the Kalamazoo River, the Kalamazoo Gazette reports. "

Apparently this particular variety of oil is able to return underground and travel thousands of miles before resurfacing in various parts of the upper Midwest.

Shockingly, as soon as the Michigan spill was capped off, the oil reappeared in Louisiana. That's right a second Gulf oil spill. This one hundreds of miles from the first. You can read about it here.

Slicers, I have some disturbing news for you. This God Forsaken Oil has developed Whack-A-Mole Technology.

The upside of this development is we will no longer require oil booms, oil collecting ships, &c. Instead we can just arm the oil engineers with these neat little mallets:



Take that Slicer21@***.com and do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
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