Election Recap

The people have spoken! Cynically, I doubt that anyone was listening, but I know you'll be interested to hear the results of the elections that we've been following here on the Razor.

Let's start with South Carolina.

Due primarily to the support of all you Slicers, and her "aggressive campaigning techniques", Nikki Haley (who had been poling quite well) will be the next LuvGov! Satirical Bloggers and marriage counselors rejoice. With a tear of sadness, I thank ex-Governor Samford for everything he did for this blog, the State of South Carolina, the women of Argentina, and the Appalachian Trail. I'm confident that with Mrs. Haley's victory, we can look forward to 4 more years gubernatorial infidelities.

Unfortunately, not all of the news from S. Carolina was good. Alvin Greene was defeated by Jim DeMint in the US Senate race. Despite the fact that DeMint clearly started the recession, he pulled in 791,627 votes, barely edging out Greene (358,069 votes) whose unorthodox campaign strategy included giving incoherent interviews and showing pornography to women. The silver lining for 2012 is that nearly 360,000 citizens of S. Carolina voted for an unemployed, illiterate, sexual predator. So there is hope for the future...

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And the local race that had us handcuffed and shackled to the edge of our seat? Another win for the Razor!

Harri Anne Smith did not squander her gambling winnings, using them to defeat George Flowers for State Senate . Several people have asked me what will happen to her seat if she is convicted of the Federal charges that she faces. My best guess is that when this fiasco is finally over, there will be enough State Legislators in the Pen that they'll have a quorum and be able to conduct State business in "the yard".

Mr. Flowers should only feel slightly humiliated that he got trounced by a crook. A dude in California got beat by a corpse. That is not a typo. With 100 percent of the precincts reporting, deceased candidate, Democrat Jenny Oropeza, defeated Republican John Stammreich in the race for State Senate in the 28th district. I know that here in Alabama dead people have been voting for decades, but I'm unaware of any dead candidate actually winning.

Without knowing Ms. Oropeza's religious affiliation (or the Devil's standard policies and procedures) I don't want to speculate on whether she was upgraded posthumously to the special place in Hell reserved for politicians. If you don't mind a little stereotyping, I'll assume based on her name that she was Latino, thus increasing the likelihood that she was Catholic, rendering the entire question moot. Either way, RIP.
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On to South Dakota.

You might not recognize the names or faces immediately below. While I had strong feelings about which woman I'd prefer, I chose not to cover this pageant on the Razor, allowing the people of South Dakota to select the candidate of their choosing without my interference.

Kristi Noem VS. Stephanie Herseth Sandlin

Drum roll please.

Representing S. Dakota in the United States House of Representatives? Kristi Noem!!! Need a little background on Mrs. Noem? She is (hopefully unhappily) married to Bryon Noem and has three children. She is a businesswoman with interests in a farm, a ranch, and a hunting lodge. Quite a catch...

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That's all I've got time for today. If you enjoyed yesterday's roast of Amy Kennedy but have not yet read the Birthday Girl's response, I added it to the bottom of the post. If you have a couple hours, I'd recommend you read it...

See ya.