Amy Kennedy (Nov. 3rd 1978 - ) As you probably know, long-term Slicer Amy Kennedy (here and here) is turning 32 tomorrow. For 2 reasons, I've decided to publish her birthday post a day early. First, tomorrow's post will hopefully be full of election material, as the nation is ushering in a new crop of crooks today. Second, several people have e-mailed me to ask what they should buy Amy for her birthday. To give them shopping time...
As a refresher, a little background on Amy. She graduated (No, not everyone from DCHS drops out) from Dale County High School and Troy University (so long ago it was still called Troy State). She loves spending time at the lake, rooting for the Florida Gators, and reminiscing about when the Florida Gators didn't suck.
On the surface, Amy's birthday gift selection is challenging. What do you get for the rapidly aging woman who has already artificially enhanced her appearance in every way possible? (quite successfully I might add). Most of time when females I know turn 30-33, I get them elective surgeries, Botox, or laser skin treatments. Amy's scorecard? check, check, and check!
We're gonna have to be less superficial with our gift buying this year. So the (base 5) Top Ten Gifts to buy Amy Kennedy:
10. Wallet Chain - Remember when she lost her wallet last summer? (you can read about it here) Not this year! Nothing captures Dale County Class quite like an elegant metal chain attaching your wallet to your pants. If you're not on a budget get the "his and hers" set so Nathan can keep up with his wallet too.
4. Adam's Razor Tank Top (here) - I've got a new line of merchandise coming out soon, and I've gotta clear some shelf space.
3. A "Delete Key" for her keyboard- Based on the length of the comments she leaves on this blog, she clearly doesn't have one. A Backspace Key would be also be helpful if you want to partner with a friend on your gift.
2. 2009 BCS National Championship Game DVD- Florida vs. Oklahoma (here) - This season the Gators lost 3 straight games, (Alabama, LSU, and Mississippi State) before defeating a terrible Georgia team in OT. What's a Florida fan to do? Watch highlights of the Tebow era and remember when they weren't irrelevant.
1. Diamond Earrings - Nathan, if you love your wife, you'll get her Diamond Earrings. Nothing too big. Something in the 2 karat range would be nice. To save you time, I found a pair you might like (here).
Happy Birthday Amy!
UPDATE: The original posted ended right here. I've edited to include Amy's comment. Which shockingly, was very clever. Enjoy:
Wow, Adam! I am so touched by your blog. Just to think you took time out of your busy day at work,(well, maybe not busy), but used your time at work to publish such a heart felt birthday tribute to me. I'm just sorry that it has taken me so long to comment today. Unlike you, I stay extremely busy at ECS and don't have the free time on my hands that you do. You know, I never knew you and I had so much in common until I read your "top 5" list for me.
Slicers, even though it is not Adam's birthday I thought it might be helpful to give you Adam's Top 5list and you can get started early on finding the perfect gift for our "special" friend that we all love!! Hope you enjoy the following.
5. Wallet Chain - Remember when Adam lost his wallet this past summer(you might have read about it in a past blog), but I guess you can't say it was lost when it was in his pants pocket the whole time? After days of tracing his steps at gas stations, going through his pockets(supposedly) and where ever else he hangs out, he finally found it.
4. Adam's Razor T-shirt - Being no one would ever waste their hard earned money on one of those shirts, he is not kidding when he says he needs to clear some shelf space. The shelves are just as full as the day he stocked them,so help a Razor out!
3. A "Delete Key" for his keyboard - Based on the length of his daily blogs (waste of space and time to read), he clearly doesn't have one. A Backspace Key would also be helpful if you want to partner with a friend on your gift (I would love to go in with someone on this gift. Just give me a call)
2. 1957 BCS National Championship Game DVD - Up until this season Auburn has been on a loosing streak for a while. Florida on the other hand has not lost 3 straight games since either 1987 or 1988. Maybe you can find the win from 1957 on an old black and white film or something. If he is lucky, maybe it has been enhanced to color. Just in case you are wondering and I know you are, Florida on the other hand has won 3National Chamionships since 1996.
1. Engagement Ring - I don't think Adam is ever going to break down and take care of this one, so maybe if someone helps him buy it, he might at least give it to her?? Kinda hard to say though. Adam, If you love your girlfriend Christena of how many years now?, then maybe you can refer back to the blog "The Big Night," you can make your joke come to real life. Don't buy anything too big though. Something in the 2 karat range would be nice. It would show your gratitude for all the years Christena has put up with you and her hand will draw enough attention for other women to know that finally, someone has decided to put up you. To save you time, I am including a website you might find helpful. (www.jared.com)
Happy Early Birthday Adam! Looking forward to hanging out on Saturday!AK
7 comments:
Wow, Adam! I am so touched by your blog. Just to think you took time out of your busy day at work,(well, maybe not busy), but used your time at work to publish such a heart felt birthday tribute to me. I'm just sorry that it has taken me so long to comment today. Unlike you, I stay extremely busy at ECS and don't have the free time on my hands that you do. You know, I never knew you and I had so much in common until I read your "top 5" list for me. Slicers, even though it is not Adam's birthday I thought it might be helpful to give you Adam's Top 5list and you can get started early on finding the perfect gift for our "special" friend that we all love!! Hope you enjoy the following.
5. Wallet Chain - Remember when Adam lost his wallet this past summer(you might have read about it in a past blog), but I guess you can't say it was lost when it was in his pants pocket the whole time? After days of tracing his steps at gas stations, going through his pockets(supposedly) and where ever else he hangs out, he finally found it.
4. Adam's Razor T-shirt - Being no one would ever waste their hard earned money on one of those shirts, he is not kidding when he says he needs to clear some shelf space. The shelves are just as full as the day he stocked them,so help a Razor out!
3. A "Delete Key" for his keyboard - Based on the length of his daily blogs (waste of space and time to read), he clearly doesn't have one. A Backspace Key would also be helpful if you want to partner with a friend on your gift (I would love to go in with someone on this gift. Just give me a call)
2. 1957 BCS National Championship Game DVD - Up until this season Auburn has been on a loosing streak for a while. Florida on the other hand has not lost 3 straight games since either 1987 or 1988. Maybe you can find the win from 1957 on an old black and white film or something. If he is lucky, maybe it has been enhanced to color. Just in case you are wondering and I know you are, Florida on the other hand has won 3National Chamionships since 1996.
1. Engagement Ring - I don't think Adam is ever going to break down and take care of this one, so maybe if someone helps him buy it, he might at least give it to her?? Kinda hard to say though. Adam, If you love your girlfriend Christena of how many years now?, then maybe you can refer back to the blog "The Big Night," you can make your joke come to real life. Don't buy anything too big though. Something in the 2 karat range would be nice. It would show your gratitude for all the years Christena has put up with you and her hand will draw enough attention for other women to know that finally, someone has decided to put up you. To save you time, I am including a website you might find helpful. (www.jared.com)
Happy Early Birthday Adam! Looking forward to hanging out on Saturday!
AK
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