Auburn comes into Fridays contest undefeated and ranked #2 in the BCS standings. Our arch-rivals, The Tide, fresh off an undefeated campaign themselves, will host us in a showdown scheduled to kick-off at 1:30 p.m. cst on Friday, November 24th. In last years' Iron Bowl, we tried to play the role of spoiler, hoping to hand the Tide their 1st loss of the season, thus ending their National Championship hopes. Alas, it was not to be. They defeated us, and everyone else on their schedule, en route to winning the BCS Trophy.
This year the roles are reversed. We have National Championship aspirations and Alabama, having lost twice, hopes to ruin our season. So it's set-up to be one for the ages.
For background, allow me to introduce the two head coaches. When Alabama Headcoach Nick Saban and Auburn Headcoach Gene Chizik were announced as the new hires at their respective schools, an impromptu pep rally broke out to greet them* upon their arrival at the airport. Here is the footage:
Nick Saban
Gene Chizik
Is it safe to say that we Auburn fans were a bit less enthusiastic? Need more evidence? Here:
Collette Connell, the co-star of this video, was arrested for DUI while leaving the event. Luckily, her license was only revoked for 3 years so she got it back in time to visit Wal-Mart to see Alabama's National Championship Trophy earlier this year. If you weren't able to make it to Wal-Mart, here is what you missed:
I would imagine that if Auburn were to win the trophy this year, we'll display it at a John Deere dealership...
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My past attempts at writing poetry for this blog have been, to be kind, poorly received. As a result, I've decided to retire my own Iambic Pen(tameter) and copy and paste a poem written entirely by someone else. (boy, was that a cumbersome attempt at a poetry joke!) Here it is**:
Twas the Night before the Iron Bowl, when all through the land,
The media were searching for one eighty grand.
Cam wasn’t worried, he had not even a care,
The only thing puzzling him was, “Who is this Bear?”
The bams were all laughing and full of themselves,
Each one convinced there would be something else.
Thayer and Schlabaugh had broken the news,
And Finebaum was convinced there must be more shoes.
When out of the east, there arose a great fuss,
As each Auburn player made his way to the bus.
On toward t-town the driver did go,
It was just about time for Cam to put on his show.
Their plan was failing and lies being exposed,
As Cam rode on the bus and peacefully dozed.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But their miniature coach, awestruck with fear.
Standing five feet tall, a lively ole prick,
I knew in a moment it must be Lil’ Nick.
Curse those “War Eagles” his minions they came,
And he snorted and snarled as he called them by name.
“Now, Thayer! Now, Finebaum! Now Schad and Schlabaugh!
On Herbstreit! On Holtz! Yes! You’ve assisted the cause!
To ESPN, Fox News and them all,
Now bash away, bash away, bash away all.
We must tell more lies about cheating and cash,
Or pray to The Bear that their team bus will crash.
They are almost here and I don’t have plan.
No one has stopped him, he just ran and he ran!
I have watched so much film and I’ve plotted and schemed,
But he is much better than I ever had dreamed.
He zigs and he zags and I swear that he flies,
He does things on the field ne'r seen by my eyes.
We will not stop him, like so many before,
They will move the ball at will and easily score.
Our fans will be furious and then start to clamor,
When Cam jumps in the crowd and leads the reverse “rammer jammer”.
So off to Dallas I will run as fast as I can,
And meet with Jerry Jones, since he is the man.
I will leave bammer hanging and holding the bag,
Merry Christmas you rednecks, now print that on bamamag.
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My prediction for the final score? Auburn 38, Alabama 21.
War Eagle and Roll Tide!!!
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*Technically, the Auburn Airport video does not include Chizik. Rather it is the greeting Athletic Director Jay Jacobs received upon return from hiring Chizik. In adherence with Razor Rule #1, (never let the truth get in the way of a post) I've taken the liberty of assuming that idiot was booing Chizik.
**Vast portions of this poem are lost on anyone not intimately familiar with the "Cam Scam". Allegations that our best player is ineligible due to a pay-for-play scheme. Sorry, I didn't write it and whoever did, surely wasn't intending it for "mass consumption"...
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