Get out the Vote, Dave Auchey, &c.

This promises to be a shorter than normal post (again, those caught celebrating will be punished). Just wanted to remind everyone that there is an election tomorrow. Please remember to vote for the candidate that is most likely to provide material for this blog. While I prefer sex scandals, I'll not quibble. Extortion, corruption, and bribery, while less interesting, are acceptable.

If the candidates in your area are above reproach, please do not hesitate to write in the name Nikki Haley. Longtime Slicers will no doubt be aware of her sexcapades as they have been discussed ad nauseum on this site. New readers are invited to click here, here, or here to be educated/entertained. Not a big fan of Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution? No problem. You can vote for Congressman Mark Souder (here).

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My uncle, Dave Auchey, is a Freemason and was recently selected (along with 6 others) to receive the Thirty-Third Degree, the highest honor of Scottish Rite Freemasonry. A photo:


While details of the ceremony were, in typical Mason fashion, shrouded in mystery, the goat that was used in the initiation was rumored to have said that Dave was the best kisser among those participating.

Those of you who don't know Dave are pitied. He is easily one of the funniest men in the State of Pennsylvania, which puts him high in the running for funniest in the whole Northeast. He once told a joke that caused 2 people to crack ribs laughing, and they didn't hear the punchline. The only guy who heard the whole joke, laughed himself to death. It was tragic. And hilarious.

I have firm standards whenever I consider joining an organization. I refuse to join any club that would accept someone like me as a member. Thankfully for the Masons, Dave, in addition to being funny, is a credit to any group he is a part of.

Congratulations Uncle Dave!

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See ya soon...